


I Love You

by havokwritesstuff



Series: yanderepeterparker (blog) [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Kidnapping, Mentions of Death, dubious use of telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:55:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23516536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havokwritesstuff/pseuds/havokwritesstuff
Summary: Peter realized his feelings for you far too late and now he has to live with the consequences. Can he ever get you to fall for him again?Part 2 to "I Don't Love You"
Relationships: Yandere Peter Parker/Reader
Series: yanderepeterparker (blog) [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624429
Comments: 3
Kudos: 63





	I Love You

Anyone would assume that Peter was in such horrible pain because he was dying, slowly choking on his love for you. But that wasn’t the worst part of it all.

What hurt the most was knowing that you loved him once and he threw your heart away like it was nothing.

What hurt the most was watching you happily go through your days without him.

The day Peter took you from your room, the day he found out about your surgery and the reason he’d been having breathing problems for weeks, he ended up letting you go back home. He just felt defeated, hopeless, your words repeating in his head, loud and overlapping.

_I don’t love you I don’t love you I don’t love you_

Peter curled up on his bed and buried his face in his pillow, trying to catch the faint scent you left when you were laying there. He sobbed as he breathed it in as deep as he could manage, his fingers gripping at the edge of the fabric.

He didn’t leave the room the whole weekend, not even when May tried to encourage him to get up and eat or drink water, or just do something other than wail and hack up flowers. She was understandably upset when she saw the bloody petals in his trash, but Peter didn’t have the energy to comfort himself, let alone his aunt.

Peter ended up going to school that Monday, looking gaunt and exhausted. He had the beginnings of some serious dark circles and he had only taken a small bite of the food May urged him to eat before school.

Everyone could see that something was wrong with Peter, and they all knew what it was when they saw him look at you like a kicked puppy.

When it came to Spider-Man, it took Peter a few weeks to put the suit back on, and he tried to carry on as much as he could with that part of his life.

None of the Avengers knew, but he figured it was only a matter of time. Especially once he fucked up a mission when he had to stop because he couldn’t breathe, not even a little. He ended up falling to his knees in the middle of a stealth assignment, violently coughing up the roses he’d been trying to hold back.

Bucky rushed him back to the Quinjet and he felt nothing but shame, as well as the stabbing pain in his lungs.

Peter couldn’t even look at any of them on the flight back to the newly rebuilt compound. He was ready to ignore it until Bucky finally spoke up. “What the hell, kid? Why wouldn’t you tell us about this?”

“Parker, you put all of us in danger by keeping this from us. You shouldn’t even be out in the field in the shape you’re in,” Sam added.

“I’m sorry,” Peter responded, his voice barely there and broken. “I-I should’ve told you guys, I just…” He ran a hand back through his messy curls as his eyes welled up with tears. “I didn’t know how to tell any of you. I didn’t know how to tell you I’m gonna die…”

Wanda sat down next to him and put her hand on top of his in an attempt to comfort him. “You don’t have to die, Peter. There are other options. The surgery is-”

He immediately shook his head. “No. I’m not getting it. I won’t.”

“Why?” Bucky asked with a frown.

Peter rested his elbows on his thighs and stared at the floor again. “(Y/N), my best friend…She was in love with me and it was killing her. I realized that I love her, but it was too late. She had to get the surgery to save her life and now…she doesn’t love me anymore. Not even as a friend. I don’t want to get the surgery and lose her completely.”

Sam softened after hearing about the young Avenger’s dilemma. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but…it sounds like you’ve already lost her.”

The words made Peter sob and his head was in his hands as his body started to tremble. He didn’t want to admit it, but Sam was right.

—-

Going to school was getting harder and harder on Peter. Being in your presence made his symptoms even worse, becoming what it was like in the late stages. Bruce told him that sometimes happened when the love was particularly strong. The flowers grew faster and the victim’s life expectancy was much shorter. Peter knew he didn’t have much time.

May begged him to agree to the surgery, telling him that she couldn’t lose the last of her family, but he refused. He couldn’t make himself do it. He couldn’t help thinking that, since you had to suffer because of him, he deserved to suffer too.

Ever since the day he confessed his love, you avoided him completely. You blocked his number and you always left your friend group when Peter joined, finding somewhere else to sit. It made him ill.

But worse was seeing Brad sit next to you one day at lunch.

Peter couldn’t tear his eyes away as he watched you chat with the other boy, a smile on your face. He hadn’t been on the receiving end of one of your smiles in what felt like forever, and he envied Brad for that, as well as your ease in talking to him. You should’ve been talking to _Peter_ , your best friend, the person that loved you.

You laughed at something Brad said and he tucked a piece of hair back behind your ear, making you blush. Peter crumpled the metal fork he was holding in his hand, hyperventilating but unable to catch his breath all at once.

Ned said something to Peter, but he couldn’t quite hear it over the pounding in his ears. He couldn’t breathe at all now, and he felt the familiar pain of something making its way up his raw throat.

Peter threw the fork down and ran out of the lunchroom, heading for the nearest bathroom. He slammed the door open and dropped to his knees in the very first stall. As soon as he did, he practically vomited up straight blood as well as several flowers.

He cried as more came up, the memory of you and Brad taunting him. Your smile, your blush. He couldn’t stop thinking about it and it only made things worse.

Soon there was a gentle hand on his back. Ned.

He watched with a heavy heart as Peter coughed up more and more, his body wracked with sobs and shaking violently from the pain and effort.

Peter eventually fell backwards from the exhaustion, breathing heavily now that his lungs were partly cleared for the time being. His back smacked the wall of the stall, but Ned caught his friend before he could hit the floor and hugged him. He couldn’t help the tears forming in his eyes at the sound of Peter’s sobs.

Eventually, the bell rang and let them know that lunch was over, but neither made the move to leave. Peter couldn’t bear being around you at that moment, and Ned was slowly coming to the realization that his best friend was really dying.

—-

Peter was benched from missions after the Avengers found out about his Hanahaki disease, but that didn’t mean he was off the hook for training. They still had hope that he would decide to get the surgery or he would survive another way. But he was more realistic about it.

He was hitting the punching bag, one specially made to better withstand his strength, so he didn’t have to hold back as much. He imagined it was Brad’s stupid, charming face. The jerk probably wouldn’t be able to make you smile so much if he had no teeth.

One particularly hard punch landed and launched the bag across the room, leaving Peter there with his chest heaving. He walked over to the bench and slumped down on it, feeling it get harder to breathe. It was nothing he wasn’t used to.

“I didn’t realize you could be so…aggressive.”

Peter looked up to see Wanda in the door, dressed in her own training gear.

“You’d be surprised.” He said before taking a swig from his water bottle.

She sat down next to him on the bench. “That boy…she likes him.”

Sometimes Peter forgot Wanda would read minds, and he was sure his thoughts were very loud just now. “I think she does…” He felt a flower forcing its way up, but he tried to keep it down for now.

“But she _loves_ you.” She stated it as if it were obvious. If he didn’t know her, he’d think she might be saying it to hurt him more.

“She doesn’t. The surgery made sure of that.” Peter said bitterly as he picked at the label on his bottle.

“I don’t think it’s quite that simple. I believe that when you love someone, that feeling isn’t lost so easily. Maybe it’s hidden or suppressed, but not gone forever.”

He finally looked at her again. “You really think so?”

Wanda smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. “I do. Love isn’t something that can be erased by a simple surgery. I believe that somewhere deep inside of her mind, her love for you still remains.”

“Inside of her mind…” Peter stared at her for a moment, the gears turning in his head. “Do you think you could use your powers to help her remember? I mean, it could work, right?”

Wanda thought it over for a moment. Her powers were meant to help people. What kind of hero would she be if she didn’t at least attempt to save the life of her teammate and friend? “If it could save your life and bring your love back to you, it’s worth a try.”

—-

It was wrong, he knew that, but he had to do it. After all, you had been ignoring all of the messages and calls and every knock on your window. He felt that breaking into your room and waiting for you to get home was his only option so he could talk to you.

Last time, he didn’t have time to look around, but now he took in the room and it made him tear up. It was the same as he remembered from all of the nights he would come to you for help, and when you would do homework together or have marathons together. Except there was one glaring difference.

Any picture on your wall that included him was gone. Every single one.

There were still plenty of pictures with MJ, Ned, Betty, and your parents. You even had a few with Flash, but your best friend was nowhere to be seen. Not even the old framed photo of the two of you on your first day at Midtown, with him still wearing his thick glasses. Or the one of you, him, and Ned dressed as Leia, Luke, and Han for Halloween a few years back. But there was still a picture of just you and Ned in your costumes, one he had taken.

The more he looked at the photos, the more his heart ached and the harder it got to breathe. He sat down on your bed and tried to hold back the urge to just cough and cough.

Peter heard the door open and close and he immediately looked up to see you, frozen in place. “What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to talk,” he answered with a sniffle, his voice thick.

“I don’t want to talk. Please leave.” After what happened last time, you weren’t sure what he would do, and you definitely didn’t want to find out.

Peter stood up from the bed and came closer to you. “I have a way to fix this. You’ll love me again and we can be together!”

You backed up against the wall to stay as far away as you could. “I’m not interested. I’m fine how I am right now. I don’t need you to fix me.”

“Please-”

You cut him off, shaking your head. “Look, I was just indifferent about you, but everything you’re doing? It’s only making me scared of you. You’re making me hate you.”

“You don’t mean that.” His voice was so small, his cheeks soaked with tears.

“I do. I really do.”

“No no no,” Peter muttered as he closed the distance between you. “You can’t hate me, please.”

“Peter-” He cupped your face in his hands and kissed you softly, his heart beating wildly against his ribs and butterflies fluttering in his stomach. He hoped you would be able to feel his love and know that you didn’t have to be scared of him.

But you didn’t feel anything.

Back before the surgery, you used to imagine what it would be like to kiss him. What his lips felt like, where he would put his hands, how passionate he would be.

Now all you could think about was putting your hands on his chest and pushing him away from you, which was exactly what you did. “What the hell is wrong with you?!”

He stared at you for a moment, the already broken pieces of his heart shattering even further. “Y-you didn’t feel it?”

“No, because I don’t fucking love you. Why can’t you understand that?”

A little sob escaped Peter’s lips as you said the words one more time. But that was exactly why he had to get you to Wanda. Then you would never have to say those words again. “I hoped I could convince you to go with me, but I guess that’s not going to happen, huh? I really didn’t want to have to do this again.”

Before you had a chance to question him, you felt a small prick in your neck, and you immediately started to feel woozy. Your legs wobbled underneath you, but Peter managed to catch you before you fell and hold you to his chest. 

“Everything’s going to be alright,” he whispered as your world faded to black.

—-

Peter laid you down on his bed at the Avengers compound, careful to make sure you were comfortable. He brushed a piece of hair back behind your ear and stroked your cheek, making your brow twitch a bit in your sleep. “FRIDAY, can you let Wanda know we’re here?”

He sat next to you on the bed and took your hand, waiting for her to arrive. A flower that he’d been holding back since he took you poked at his throat, and he grabbed the trashcan by the bed to cough it up, his mouth filling with blood.

Wanda opened the door and came inside as he spit it all into the can and put it back down onto the floor. She sat down on the opposite side of the bed and studied both of you, your sleeping form and Peter’s desperate face. “I have to warn you, there’s a chance that it might not work.”

“It will. It has to.” He brought your hand up to his lips and kissed your knuckles, tears welling in his eyes. “I just want her to remember that she loves me. We have to try.”

“Very well. It will take a while, so you have to be patient.”

Peter nodded and Wanda’s eyes flashed red as she waved her fingers over your head, emitting a red energy. He squeezed your hand and closed his eyes, hoping with everything in him that you would love him again when you woke up.

—-

The first thing you noticed when you came to was the smell of Peter’s favorite soap, then the tickle of a finger stroking the back of your hand as someone held it. You frowned slightly and cracked your eyes open to find Peter sitting next to you on a strange bed. You watched for a moment as he gently cradled your hand and drew little doodles on your skin.

You squeezed his hand softly and he immediately looked down at you with wide eyes. His expression quickly softened and he smiled. After hours of waiting, you were finally awake, and you hadn’t ripped your hand away yet, which he saw as a good sign. “How do you feel?”

When you looked in his deep brown eyes, you felt something that you hadn’t in months. Your heart fluttered, your cheeks got hot, and all you could think about was how much you loved that smile.

Then you remembered how you’d been treating him the past several months since your surgery. Ignoring him, avoiding him, being uncaring in every way when you found out that he developed Hanahaki disease because he fell in love with you too late. It made your stomach turn. “I feel…guilty.”

“What? Why?” He was hoping you’d be filled with love again when you looked at him, and he could feel himself start to panic.

You sat up next to him, tears escaping your eyes and running down your cheeks. To his surprise, you pulled him into a bone crushing hug. “I’m sorry, Pete! I’m so sorry!”

Peter slowly wrapped his arms around your waist, brow furrowed in concern as you sobbed into his sweater. He wanted to ask you to elaborate, but you beat him to it. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you. It was fucked up.”

He rubbed your back as you cried. “It’s not your fault. The surgery took away all of the feelings you had for me. You couldn’t help it.”

“I know, I just…I hurt you.”

“I hurt you first, and I’ve regretted it every moment since then. I’m the one that should be sorry, not you. You never would’ve needed that surgery if it weren’t for me.”

You pulled back from the hug and sniffled as you cupped his cheek in your palm. “Don’t blame yourself, Pete. You fixed it, just like you said you would.”

You leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, and this time you felt everything. The fireworks, the electricity, the butterflies. All of it at once. Peter held you closer to his chest, relieved that he was finally kissing you without you pushing him away.

With a smile, you broke the kiss and rested your forehead against his. “I love you, Pete.”

“I love you, (Y/N),” he replied, feeling the heavy weight in his chest disappear, replaced by a lovely weightless feeling.

You and Peter loved each other, and everything was finally as it should’ve been all along.


End file.
